Shopping Jokes

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 Man inserts birthday card into machine.

It said enter card

  Woman walks in at home with two of everything?

Apparently it was buy on get one free.


 Where do people at the till get there money?

From their ear (cash ear).

 Did you know that tills say until next time when they leave?


Man mutters to his partner, "I thought it was going to be  

some small shopping?" Partner replies 12 bags are small shopping.


Man spends hours standing on a yellow line whilst shopping.

Apparently he was doing some on-line shopping.


  Woman enters a hair pin into the chip and pin device.

Apparently the cashier said enter your pin.


 Shop owner sells warm melted chocolate as

hot chocolate.



Shop owner complains that customers keep on 

               turning off the lights. Apparently it was an off licence.


Group of guys try to lift a high street shop with there hands.

They where trying to do some shop lifting.

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